Artist Journal
Here you can find a small window into my mind. The thoughts and questions that pop up didn’t really have a place but now they will have a home here. This home will be messy, have unfinished projects or nostalgic flashbacks.
A place where for a moment I can feel safe, insecure, confused, happy, sad or frustrated. I am not really looking for answers but maybe I will find them along the way while I discover my own truth.
I invite you to take a peek though the curtains and see merely a documentation of fleeting thoughts and feelings.
small window into my mind
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small window into my mind 〰️
Fleeting Thougts 〰️
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I was asked if a work was labor intensive and found it difficult to answer bluntly with a no or yes. Mainly because for all works there is in a way a lot of effort before it becomes that work. Maybe not directly for one specific work, but often i struggle with the first work of a serie and it can take years before it is in a final stage. Then the 10th or 11th in the serie I am able to produce faster because of the intensive labor of the first one.
As my skills as a sculptor improve it comes with the assumption of that improvement being the new standard. So when someone asks if a work is labor intensive i just think not more than what would be standard for me.Maybe i also did not choose the most effortless route. The planning and steps needed to make a ceramic work take more effort than for example a lino print. Because i love ceramics i think the effort needed is worth it and i made that my standard. I guess it comes down to a personal experience of putting in effort.
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What is it exactly, is it all three? Mostly I call my art a “work”, it's an artwork. Maybe because there is a very labor intensive aspect to my art. A piece would indicate a single thing, so I guess like a painting? An installation is an installation that is clear not much questions asked. So how about 4 tubes filled with mud and water? Pieces? Works? And the state of what process the artwork is in, is it dependent on if it's finished or not?
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I wonder if babies can enjoy art. As tiny human beings, at some point they will be curious, explore, touch and put all their saliva over it. So I thought it would be interesting to think what art for babies would actually look like. They experience the world in an untainted way, maybe with underdeveloped senses but that doesn't mean they can't enjoy it. Moreover, how will it influence the child at a later age?
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Before I was already thinking a little about the quality of art. You can say a artwork (whatever that is) is well made and the materials used are durable and of high quality. But first I should mention that the quality of something is determined by different aspects. Or basically everything that makes it an artwork, the material, the concept, the artist. Especially the artist is important, we can even say that we judge the quality of the artist by the works that is made. If the work is of high quality then we expect the next artwork also being high quality. So is there a difference of quality in the artworks or in the artists? Or the quality of the moment the artwork is made. Expectations being met. -
What I have been wondering lately is what makes an artwork art? What are the qualifications to turn an 'object' into Art. I can make something and place it on a pedestal but I don't believe that turns every object into a (art piece) (piece of art). How can you combine different materials so that all together it 'becomes' (and unquestionable) at first sight, artwork. (And) I am not even saying it should be pretty or good.
I thought it might be the skill of the artist that makes it an art piece, work, or object. Because it takes time, effort and knowledge to create something and it's the skill of the artist that defines the quality of the art piece. But than I wondered: “What about ready-mades, found footage and things like outsourcing?” So what exactly is the skill of the artist, is it just the skill of rhyming image? Or is it just different opinions that make or break a piece?
W.I.P.
Dear same beat different tempo,
I often call you my heart, all three of you I can relate to. Sometimes i wish my heart was bigger, more love to give or smaller and beating faster.
Two of the hearts are currently in familiar homes, it brings me joy to know my hearts are in someones houses. Like a beating heart that belongs in a body. They are taking good care of it.
This means that the only heart left currently in my care is the biggest heart.
Lots of love,
Ellis
Dear Artwork…
Dear Cloud of Eye
Today i had an ephifany, i was explaining to someone how i have two eyes. One to watch over my dearest son Leo, and one to watch myself. Because if i watch myself carefully i can take care of my son, a important person in my life that needs me and that I love. Then it clicked, the many eyes i created for you, the many I’s that I try to be and the many looks I reserve for other people. It floats around, softly swaying.
You aged, and in my heart i knew you were something that i could and wanted to show to the world. A feeling or view that is unique. It took some time but i think we both endured well. Lets continue on our journey while watching each other.
Lots of love,
Ellis
Dear What Grows will grow
I was able to give two of you (maybe three) a place to take root. I hope you will grow there with the people and give them the feelings that i feel when i think about you. Grow strong for these people.
I love how you can move my feelings from sadness to almost an indifference. Like my thoughts grow and grow till i cannot put it into words and the entire subject grew to a size i no longer fathom.
Depending on where my thoughts go you adjust, when i want time to stand still you remind me life continues and things will still grow regardless.
But at the same time i stand still to admire how far you have already grown and it means you survived the passed time required to bloom.
Because you are made of ceramics you will not wither, but neither will you actually grow bigger. Because what doesn’t grow will not grow. And then things that grow and things that don’t grow are in a way the same.
Lots of love,
Ellis
Flashback
Works developed during my years on the academie.